I need to do something different. I think I need to start getting healthy again. I’m at a healthy weight, but I’m not in shape at all. I can still run long distances and my heart rate rarely excedes 150BPM, but I’m starting to feel like I get drained out of energy faster.
I also want to eat healthier. But not being able to control what kinds of food come into this house, I’m stuck with apples as the healthiest food option. There’s soup and granola bars, but those are packed with so much sodium and preservatives they make me feel sick afterwards. And when it comes to lunch, there are only so many options around here…. eating something is better than nothing. The food at school isn’t much better, either.
Honestly, I wish I had more control and ability to change things. I don’t have money for going to the gym, and running outside kills my knees. My skins is super-sensitive to basically everything (even air conditioners make it itch), so swimming in a pool isn’t really an option. I don’t have the money to go shopping for food that doesn’t make me feel like shit.
I need to stop smoking. But with the stress of school ending soon and moving out and not to mention the addiction, it’s hard to just stop. When things get good again, I’ll quit.
I just don’t think I’ll be able to give up coffee. I like it too much. I just think I should just stop drinking it late at night.
I need school to end, I need a job that I know is secure, and I need to move out. The environment around here is killing me slowly.
